This Sober October, Celebrate Your Power

I’m not sure when Sober October became a thing, but I’m here for it.

Sober October feels like Dry January’s hipper younger sister. Dry January comes right after New Year’s; like many resolutions, the vibe tends to be about discipline—removing alcohol from one’s life in the name of self-improvement.

I’d argue that Sober October has a slightly sexier brand. We’re fresh off of National Recovery Month, when we celebrate getting sober and the many different ways to go about it. Now, it’s time to lean into sobriety as a superpower and a gift. Instead of denying ourselves, we’re choosing a life that offers the greatest opportunity for authenticity and growth because we’re no longer drinking poison on the reg.

But getting from the place where we feel denied to where we feel lucky is a journey, and our alcohol-soaked culture doesn't offer a smooth path.

I recently got a message from a Big Sober Energy reader lamenting the constant encouragement to drink and how she felt like she needed to build immunity to push back against it. She’s so right: work happy hours, family restaurants, yoga classes, school events, weddings, funerals, baby showers, conferences, open houses….it never ends.

Alcohol is everywhere—and it’s not going anywhere. So, whether you are sober or not, I vote we treat Sober October as an opportunity to practice seeing alcohol culture for what it is and use this knowledge to grow our power and strengthen ourselves against its relentless presence.

Sober October Goal 1: Resisting the Lie of Alcohol Culture

I credit the Big Sober Energy reader for using the term “building immunity” in this context. I love that framing. I often talk to my students about creating the conditions that allow sobriety to arrive and stick around; building immunity to the lie that we have to drink to have fun or connect with other people or be successful in business or survive parenting or function as an adult must be one of those conditions.

So, how do we do it?

Like any form of strength and resilience, building immunity to alcohol culture requires small, consistent steps punctuated by bursts of progress. If you’ve ever practiced a musical instrument or worked toward a skill at the gym, you probably felt like you’d never get to the next level, only to one day find you could do something that had been impossible the day before.

Let me give you an example. When I finally let myself admit I had a problem with alcohol, one of the ways I dealt with it was by reading tons of Quit Lit. Reading book after book written by people who had left alcohol behind gradually created a foundation that allowed me to believe something I never had before—that life without alcohol was possible for me.

Then, I came across the book Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck. In it, he talks about training himself to see alcohol as “attractively packaged poison,” which helped him enormously when faced with a wall full of glittering bottles behind a bar.

This was an a-ha! moment for me, the burst of progress that allowed me to finally shift my thinking from “I am a loser and a flawed individual” to “I have been duped into believing that drinking alcohol is a good idea.”

The difference between those beliefs is huge; not only did the shift allow me to reclaim some self-respect, but once I saw alcohol for what it truly is (attractively packaged poison), booze lost most of its power over me.

Sober October Goal 2: Escaping the Matrix of the Alcohol Industry

Alcohol doesn’t just bottle itself and roll into grocery stores and beer gardens on its own; there’s a whole mega-industry built around making sure you can’t walk down the street without a Grey Goose ad whizzing by on the side of a bus or a Busch Light sign flashing at you from the window of a dive bar.

These flashes could be viewed as temptations. But with our Sober October glasses on, they become reminders that the alcohol industry pays a lot of money to create a world where invitations to buy and drink alcohol are permanently in your face.

Realizing that is like waking up in the Matrix. Drinking culture has become normalized to the point that most people can’t even see it, but once you do, you can’t unsee it—and it’s scary as fuck.

The alcohol industry also pays a lot of money to make it seem like everyone is drinking, and that’s just not true.

More people than ever are choosing a low- or no-alcohol lifestyle (hence, the boom in NA beverages on the market). But unless we’re looking for evidence of that lifestyle, it can be tough to find.

This is a perfect example of why paying attention to who you surround yourself with and what you feed your head matters. Consuming NA content (I’m a big fan of The Sober Curator), joining a sober community that resonates, and looking for NA social events in your area can all help us design fun, fulfilling lives outside the Alcohol Matrix.

Sober October Goal 3: Polish Up the Tools In Your Recovery Toolkit

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I put meditation at the very top of my list of variables that created the conditions for my sobriety to arrive and stick around.

But, as the Insight Timer tracker reminds me, my practice can get spotty at times. I miss days here and there or I get lazy and opt for a guided meditation instead of vipassana. (NO judgment if guided is your jam; I love it, too, but I know vipassana is what keeps my mental health in check.)

So, if you are sober already, I suggest using Sober October to reconnect with the practices that sharpen your ability to stay mindful in alcohol-heavy situations (like, say, the holidays).

For myself, I’m seeking out some new Quit Lit, catching up on the Seltzer Squad podcast, and making morning meditations non-negotiable.

Even if you don’t feel like you “need” extra reinforcement, think of it as scheduling a tune-up before the check engine light comes on. And, in keeping with our theme of celebrating instead of depriving ourselves, it’s fun to notice how these practices fit and feel different at different stages of recovery.

Speaking of stages, October also happens to be my six-year sober-versary. Honestly, this has been a hard day for me in years past. It reminds me of one of the lowest weeks of my life, the one that finally pushed me from “maybe I have a problem” territory into the land of “I definitely need to stop—now.”

This year, I want to reclaim October from those bad memories and remind myself that it’s pretty special to be part of a movement of people who reject the status quo in favor of honoring our bodies, brains, and well-being. Despite the hardship it took to get here, that’s something to be proud of.

Maybe I’ll make this October my own personal Sobriety Pride Month. Care to join me?